On letting go.

At any moment, your situation is the way it is whether you like it or not. When you fight the truth of the way your situation is, you create a state of fear, upset, and tunnel vision. You destroy your ability to find solutions and tend to make your situation worse. To handle a situation, you need effective action, not the inner state of resisting. You remove the resisting and restore your effectiveness through a process called “Letting Go.”

To see an example of letting go, find a time in your life when you actively resisted something. Then, for whatever reason, you stopped the resisting and said, “The heck with it.” You stopped fighting your situation and moved on with your life.

Notice what happened the moment you did this. You got your peace of mind back. The fear and upset disappeared. You also saw everything differently. Everything looked different because the tunnel vision was gone. Instead of having 3 degrees of possibility, you now had 360 degrees.

Now notice what happened to the area of life that you were resisting. It started clearing up. Life always takes care of itself when we get our egos out of the way.

How letting go works

Letting go is the inner action that removes the fear, upset, and tunnel vision. Instantly, you restore your ability to see clearly. You become creative and able to discover solutions that you could never have seen before. A good way to see how letting go works is to look at the nature of fear.

Fear is a state of mind and is created by resisting a future event. For example, if you have a fear of losing someone, you are resisting the future event called, “losing the person.” The more you resist losing the person, the bigger your fear. The bigger your fear, the more you feel threatened. The more you feel threatened, the more you hang on and push the person away. By resisting the future event, you make the fear come true.

To have any fear lose its power, do the opposite of what creates it. Instead of resisting the future event, be willing for the fear to come true – not in your actions, but in your heart. In your actions, do everything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen, but in your heart, be willing.

The moment you become willing for your fear to come true, the fear loses power. You restore your ability to see clearly and become very effective in handling your situation. Solutions appear and this area of life starts clearing up. This is the purpose and opportunity of letting go.

To make the process of letting go a little easier, there are two very important steps to take. The first step is trusting.

Trust that you will always be okay


Trust that you will be okay no matter what happens. Even if your greatest fears come true, know that when the smoke clears, you will be fine. When you know that you will be okay no matter what happens, letting go becomes relatively easy.

The more you trust, the more you are able to let go, and the more life turns out okay. This in turn reinforces trusting. When you don't trust, you fight, resist, hang on, and withdraw. This makes everything worse, which reinforces "don't trust."

Ultimately, trust is a choice. It’s something you create. It's a declaration. "I will be okay no matter what happens. I trust, just because I say so." Trust is also telling the truth. You have had tough times before and you have made it through every one of them. If you are in a tough time now, this too will pass. Life is only threatening when you resist. So stop resisting and trust. Trust that you will be okay no matter what happens.

If you are engaged in your spirituality, a powerful way to let go of resisting and hanging on is to give your situation to God. Problem areas seems to clear up when you do this.

Be willing to feel your hurt.

The second and most important step in the process of letting go is to be willing to feel your hurt. This is important because it's the automatic avoidance of the hurt that forces us to resist. We think that we're resisting certain circumstances, but we're not. We are resisting all the feelings and emotion that are being triggered by the circumstances.

If you are willing to feel the hurt that is being triggered, your circumstance will have no power. If you are unwilling to feel the hurt, your circumstances will have total power.

The key to releasing emotion and releasing it quickly is to feel your hurt willingly like a child. Feel it deliberately and purposefully. Feel it because you choose to. Reach in, grab it, and pull it out. Let it come and let it go.

Feel the hurt of the circumstances and more importantly, feel the childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, failure, or whatever your core issue is. If letting go is difficult, it’s this deeper hurt that is keeping you stuck.